Before I found Jesus as my Lord and Savior, I had difficulty expressing my love to others. Of course I did everything I could for the comfort and well-being of those in my family. But did I ever tell them I love them? Yes on birthday cards, but saying the three words “I love you” seemed foreign to me. Of course I told Anita that I loved her when we were engaged and on our wedding day and honeymoon. But how many times in the years that followed did I say these words? She was always an affectionate person and loved to have hugs and lots of kisses. I responded to this and enjoyed the fact that she was showing her love for me. My love could have been greater if I had not just read but had taken into my heart the message of Ephesians 5: 21 & 28. “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
After Jesus came into my life I looked at my relationships with others and felt the need to change. Not because I thought it was required, but because I really wanted to. Slowly I began to not just shake hands with people, but if they showed the slightest movement for an embrace, I would hug them. The last hurdle was overcome when I started to say the three precious words to others, even men. All of them responded with their love. Perhaps they were just waiting for someone to take the lead.
It was not just being able to say I love you and mean it, and to embrace others easily. It was a genuine change in the way I felt about others. I could look them in the eye and see a person of inward beauty. Even though Anita and I survived over 60 years of marriage, with mostly a wonderful relationship, the last five years has seen a growth in our love for one another. Anita seemed always to have love in her heart, but I believe it became stronger. From not too long after I first met her I could see a person of real character. I have renewed all the beautiful feeling I had had for her and saw her inward beauty. She was especially lovely to look at when she was younger. As we change with age our bodies often become less physically attractive. This never really happened in my eyes as I always saw her as beautiful. But in recent years I began to truly see her inside beauty. Though her body has aged, I just see the sparkle in her eyes.
I can even tell our kids that I love them and mean it. I have long forgotten the trials that we were put to in raising them, and just remember the joys they brought us. Today they continue to bring joy and we have a better relationship than ever. How has this happened? I know now that the love of our wonderful Lord changed my life, and I feel His love all the time. I just have to express it to others as often as the occasion allows.
Recently I read a book by a dear friend. One of their daughters at age 27 had died in Africa of disease while helping those in need. She was a nurse and wholly dedicated to trying to ease the pain and suffering of these unfortunate souls. Her death was terribly sad for the family who were close-knit . They were devastated at first. After several years her mother was prompted to write a book about the life, death and memories of their beloved daughter. Although the mother had little writing experience, her book was beautiful. In reading it, I got to know the daughter and sort of lived the tragedy in my own mind. The book was emotion packed. As I told the author, I was sort of envious of her deep love and emotions. I said there is no way I would want a similar experience of a loss of a loved one to evoke deep emotions, but I wondered again why I have never felt such profound emotions.
I was really concerned that perhaps I am too callous about life and others. So I asked our Lord about this. I said I was concerned that I have not felt such love for another person as did the author. I told Him that in the last few years while my love for my family and friends has increased, love for Him, our precious Lord and Savior, and for His Father has blossomed. The feeling that immediately received was one of love from Him, and that my love for Him was also a love for everyone. As we know, Jesus taught that we must love our God above everything and everyone else. After this talk with the Lord, I felt peace about my emotions. I believe that when I worship God and love Him with all my heart, I do feel more love for others.